【】"I did not collude with Pop Pop."
Jared Kushner put on his big boy pants yesterday and headed to the Senate to courageously testify in front of the public -- sorry, I meant: speak not under oath behind closed doors. 。
Monday was one of the first times anyone in America has heard Kushner speak, and boy were they treated to a show. Kushner began his brief public statement with the opening sentence: "My name is Jared Kushner," which is how I often began my penpal letters as a second grader. 。
The internet couldn't restrain the urge to meme. 。
SEE ALSO:Jared Kushner finally speaks and we cannot unhear it。
Here's Twitter's analysis of Lil' Kushner first major public statement. 。
"let me be very clear: yogurt. is. too. spicy." pic.twitter.com/RqNUztcdsX。
— Bob Vulfov (bobvulfov) July 24, 2017。
"let me be very clear: spaghetti is too long. i will not eat spaghetti unless someone cuts it up for me beforehand." pic.twitter.com/JgPIa1bNLf。
— Mira Gonzalez (miragonz) July 24, 2017 。
Kushner looks like the president of the preppy villain frat in a movie they're playing on abc family pic.twitter.com/ZXLZLMJkt0 。
— Dana Schwartz (DanaSchwartzzz) July 24, 2017 。
these pictures make it look like kushner was just emitting a high-pitched screech for like ten minutes straight pic.twitter.com/O0GpftEhEC 。
— Stefan (boring_as_heck) July 24, 2017 。
-- Jared Kushner pic.twitter.com/I4ZDpk2vs6 。
"I did not collude with Pop Pop." 。
— Diane N. Sevenay (Diane_7A) July 24, 2017 。
"You and your little friends will NEVER save the youth center" pic.twitter.com/IvysDe7BhT 。
— Patrick Monahan (pattymo) July 24, 2017 。
"Let me be very clear: I am not going to summer camp" pic.twitter.com/XFAQi9xEWb 。
— Heather Dockray (Wear_a_helmet) July 24, 2017。
"Let me be very clear: Delta House must be thrown off campus!" pic.twitter.com/K4CdThZ98R 。
— Tucker Cawley (Tuckercawley1) July 25, 2017 。
Jared Kushner is always one futura font away from starring in a Wes Anderson movie. pic.twitter.com/UXaVrQueN4 。
— Jesse McLaren (McJesse) July 24, 2017 。
"I have not sought the spotlight" pic.twitter.com/zZ3rcLnsUX 。
— Tom Namako (TomNamako) July 24, 2017 。
when you hear Jared Kushner speak pic.twitter.com/eiwiyezp4W 。
— Dave Itzkoff (ditzkoff) July 24, 2017 。
Let me be clear, I have not taken over for my father as the Green Goblin and I don't know who's been flying around on his glider pic.twitter.com/lapz448Dju。
— Peter Schultz (pete_schultz) July 24, 2017 。
— Peter Schultz (pete_schultz) July 24, 2017 。
"I did not collude with Russia." pic.twitter.com/2hpg5AZkF 。
*Takes hit of helium from balloon* 。
— J. Elvis Weinstein (JElvisWeinstein) July 24, 2017 。
"My name is Jared Kushner."。
— Brendan Hickey (BrendanHickey9) July 24, 2017 。
If Congress won't hold Kushner accountable, at least these dorks on the internet will. 。
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